I have always been an empathetic person, but this doesn't always work in my favour. If I don't protect myself daily I pick up other's energy too easily and can become severely affected emotionally. My attitude can also take a dive and sync in with theirs when it's not in my best interest. The number of times bad relationships have done this to me is nearly unbelievable.
Bad relationships don't just pertain to a male/female partnering. Bad relationships can include friendships, acquaintances, family members, co-workers- the whole lot! Anyone you cross in your life is part of your destined relationship package. Dealing with the abusive relationships in your life is a challenge beyond measure. Understanding why these people are hurting you is a valuable tool to have on hand though. It does the sanity some good too.
For the past few years I had to deal with an extremely difficult relationship. This person was introduced into my life, had a earth-bound reason for being there and was very closely connected to a few of my family members. This person was part of the package in connection to a new relationship I had. I put a lot into this difficult relationship and let a lot slide in order to keep it peaceful and functioning properly. Sometimes your best efforts just won't work with some people though. This was the case with this person in particular. (*Hitting head against brick wall*)
To cut a long story short, this person did everything in their power to under-mind and humiliate me. I can't say for sure whether it was a type of jealousy issue or what, but it hurt me deeply all the same and sent me into a dark, negative place for a while. The energy drag from this person was enormous and my empathy was spinning out of control!
As the negativity from this relationship started to consume my every thought I came across the right book at the right time. Denise Linn is a wonderful author and soul coach. Her book Past Lives, Present Miracles touched on the subject of bad relationships and their purpose. Exactly what I needed to know about at the time! She called it the 'Victim/Volunteer' scenario.
As you may well know, every person and situation provides a purpose in your life. There's rarely a mistake when it comes to reincarnation (I might delve into the mistakes later on at some point!). Every good and bad relationship is meant to be. You reincarnated into this life to experience these relationships so your soul could continue to advance to a higher level. Those that victimise you in this lifetime are actually those who love you the most at a soul level. Hard to swallow when you think of someone you hate right? Imagine this for a moment then...
Your soul is waiting to reincarnate. You've been waiting for ages too. It's frustrating because you need to learn humility and none of the other souls are willing to help teach you this in your next lifetime- they don't want to spend their next reincarnation as the 'baddy' and waste their time in a stagnant, non-evolutionary role. Every soul that you ask says 'No way. I'm not going to mess up my karmic evolution to help you learn humility.' So your soul remains in Limbo just waiting for another soul to help.
And guess which soul helps you...that's right- the one who loves you the most and wants to help your soul advance. The one who is, what you call in this life, your abuser. These souls love you so much that they are willing to stop their evolution to help you advance your soul instead by teaching you humility. These souls are willing to go against their better judgement and become a nasty piece of work! No greater gift can be given between souls. For every victim there is a volunteer. Their volunteering can even halt their evolution for many lifetimes, not just the present incarnation.
Knowing this can help diminish the hate or anger you have towards another person. It certainly worked for me anyway! If you know that you are a kind person who does well by others then hurtful people will never be able to stop your soul's evolution once you realise this. I can't stress the importance of this enough!
Forgiveness is key.
So, if you are empathetic and have a tendency to hold onto hate, or you find yourself thinking negatively because of something someone has done to you, remember...your abuser is only volunteering to be this way. This bad relationship is evolving your soul. That person who treats you like dirt, is only doing so because their soul loves you deeper and more longingly than you'll ever know.
Light and love to you all xxx
For more information and further reading go to Denise Linn's website: http://www.deniselinn.com/
Linn, D. (1997) Past Lives, Present Miracles. United States of America: Hay House.